General rant about eating out and tipping
Establishment: All
Location: Everywhere
So you’re sitting there with your best girl or guy and you two decide to make it a dinner and movie night. You google the best place to dine with the most affordable dishes and pick the one that best suits your budget and taste.
You show up all snazzy looking and the hostess says "Oh, you don’t have a reservation and it’s Saturday night? Ummmm….Please wait right here."
That, my friends is douchebag move #1. You do not show up to a restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night without a reservation. All the other schmoes were smart enough to call ahead. You, however, were not.
You finally get sat and look around the place. You’re somewhat in awe that there is such a place that exists which houses indentured servants ready and willing to wait on you hand and foot. In fact, you’re still jabbering away when your server comes over to greet you. But you haven’t even glanced at the menu and think to yourself that this person standing there with a smile on their face can just come back 3 minutes from now when you’re good and read to order.
Douchebag move #2. Hey fucko, take a look around you. Do you see the other 30 tables around you? Now those tables are divided into sections to better facilitate management of the floor. A server is assigned to each section with a certain number of tables and your server is just so lucky to have you in their section. THEY ALSO HAVE THE OTHER 15-20 PEOPLE AROUND YOU IN THEIR SECTION AS WELL. You are not King David. When you dick around and don’t even bother to look at the menu, you fuck up the whole rotation of the place.
So you finally order and when the food arrives, you remember that you want extra sauce or more bread. Nothing wrong with that. It becomes nails on a chalkboard when your server comes back with the extra bib or more sauce or whatever you asked for, and your whore says that now she needs something, too.
WRONG!
Get it together, man. Don’t be that guy that gets his food thrown on the ground in the kitchen. And then peed on. and then licked. It happens.
After you finally get your extra whatevers, you two settle in and eat. The food is good, the atmosphere is tits, and you’re having a wonderful experience. So you decide to sit there and enjoy it. And sit there and enjoy it. And sit there and enjoy it.
This is not a campground!
Once you’ve finished your meal, an extra drink or some short after dinner conversation is to be expected. Servers enjoy seeing their tables happy. But pay the bill and leave. That’s prime real estate you’re sitting at and your fat ass is hogging that table for 3 hours- that’s time that the server is not getting tipped by the next customer.
So now to the most important part: TIPS. TIPS used to stand for "To Insure Prompt Service. Now the government has deemed it okay to slash minimum wage (40% in Illinois) for tipped employees. So your server is getting paid the grand ole rate of $4.65/hr at the time of this writing. A tip is no longer an extra incentive. You are actively participating in your server’s regular wage. If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to eat there. And 15% ain’t gonna cut it. 18% has become standard with 20% being decent. And if you think that’s a lot, think about this: The hour that your server came in before the place opened and the 2-3 hours they are there after the rush is over is time that they are being paid their shitty little hourly wage to polish glasses, fill condiments, and wipe tables. So do yourself a favor. If you’ve never worked in the service industry, try and put yourself in your server’s shoes when you go out and dine.
Comments
You sound like such a happy person. Why are you in the business if you hate the “schmoes” who pay your bills.Maybe all the schmoes should just stay home.
You probably walk with “tax free” money everynight.
What did you think you would be doing when you got in the business,that customers would not ask for something,say maybe a fork for the salad because the server was out smoking instead of doing the sidework.
Oh yeah, i’m sure all those smucks are aware of the “required tipping percentage”, like they give a fuck. Try waiting on the table like you WANT TO BE THERE and that YOU WILL get them anything they want HAPPILY. They want another bib give em, another fuckin bib what do you care.
Stop whinning and do your job. If you dont like it go do something else where you can make the money you do…
And I gave Tocco more than enough chances. I went at two weeks, a snooty hostess said she didn’t have our reservation, that no tables were available for walk-ins and we could wait at the bar to perhaps get a table if there was a no show.
Ummm…let’s see…you’re peeing on their food and then licking it? That’s one way to show them who’s boss! Who’s the “schmoe”?
There’s my rant, folks.
Let me hear it…