Tipping: "to acknowledge inferiority." (www.indyst

[LSW]

Tipping: Out of hand, out of mind
Many customers give too little thought to tipping

Happenings: kelly kendall June 9, 2006

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060609/COLUMNISTS20/606090306

In his 1916 book "The Itching Palm," William R. Scott described a tip as the price that "one American is willing to pay to induce another American to acknowledge inferiority." The tip jars that have popped up on counters in the last several years sure make it look like a lot of people are willing to swallow their pride for pocket change.

In the last year or so, I've gotten the feeling that even the girl who hands me my carryout bag of Italian is expecting a little something extra.

Then there are the buffet restaurants where you go get the grub but somebody brings you a Sprite and clears your table.

So whose palms should be greased these days, and just how oily should they be getting?

Bartenders' tips seem to have stalled at a dollar per drink for the past 40 years. That's still what etiquette books generally recommend, and it's what several local bartenders I talked to said they expect.

One reason the dollar-a-drink rule has hung on all these years may be because a lot of us consider leaving coins chintzy. The average cost of an alcoholic drink spiked 27.6 percent in the last three years, according to Zagat nightlife guides. But $1 tips haven't made a corresponding jump to $1.28 because most people are loath to leave coins, Michael Lynn, a Cornell University professor who studies tipping, told New York magazine. When confronted with a 100 percent increase or none at all, a lot of us tighten the pursestrings and stick with a buck as long as is decently possible.

It amazes me, incidentally, that some people actually consider bar and restaurant tips optional. Bulletin: When you tip 15 percent of the dinner tab you are not heroically granting a bonus for exceptional service. Unless your waiter was a jerk of the magnitude of the snooty French servers in "National Lampoon's European Vacation," he is owed that or more. He is making less than $3 an hour and gets taxed on your tip even if you don't leave one.

Understand that tipping is part of the cost of going out, and shell out already.

It does get murky. Lately I've been guilted by expectant-looking hostesses into tacking a couple extra bucks onto my carryout orders. None of the eight etiquette books I consulted even address this situation in their "tipping" chapters, which to me says you don't have to give one.

Hostesses at Champps, Rock Bottom Brewery and P.F. Chang's told me they get tips for handing over takeout bags maybe half the time, usually $1-$3. They all looked convincingly sincere when they said they really don't expect anything, and consider any tip a windfall.

The books are nearly unanimous on one point: At buffet restaurants, a 10 percent tip is standard for the person who brings you water or cleans your table. If you schlepped to the drink machine yourself, you can skimp on a tip altogether.

I've handed the pizza guy at least $2 for years and will keep on doing so even though "Etiquette for Dummies" and Kate Spade's "Manners" both suggest a mere buck. The venerable Letitia Baldrige doesn't think you have to give anything at all, though she considers throwing in $1 a classy move.

But since one of her tipping categories is "If You're a Weekend Guest in a Home with a Domestic Staff," I have a hunch we're living in different worlds anyway.


Contact Star reporter Kelly Kendall at (317) 444-6466 or via e-mail at kelly.kendall@indystar.com.

[todiefor]

unless you are in good ole PDX where the maroons get over TWICE the 3 dollars an hour.............THATS why i rarely tip 15%

[Maybell]

From a hash house waitress: A server has to develop skills to take good care of her customers. This is in some ways more true for us diner-type waitresses working without expediters, bussers, hosts, etc. (and believe me I've done that in more than one job!) although the more upscale people have to develop different skills. So what's with the not tipping 15% to PDX servers who make the full minimum wage?! They deserve to make good money as much as ANY other worker like the blue collar types or the Microsoft types, anyone.

And so do hostesses who 'hand you' your bag of to-go food. Who do you think sees that you get your food as you ordered it, puts all the stuff in the bag and all that? Usually the HOST!

So fork over the cash everyone.

[Guest]

[Stinky cheese]

Actually, in a lot of places, hostesses/hosts aren't tipped out. And many more are just tipped a pittance (like $5 per server). I've met more than a few hostesses who were single moms or older women who needed to support themselves on their minimum wage jobs, just like the poor dishwashers and prep cooks.

IMO, hosting is way more stressful than serving. You get all the whining and complaining from the guests, and the servers get aggro at you if you can't seat the sections completely equally at all times. 50% of the customers don't want to sit where you seat them. People flip out if they've been at the door for two seconds w/o being acknowledged, but the hostess didn't acknowledge them because she was busy putting together some cheap bastard's take-out order.
And he begrudges her a couple of bucks to acknowlege her help and service that took her away from her primary duties. tssk.